Change and Uncertainty

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The two words that instinctively cause a sense of restlessness are , 'change' and 'uncertainty'. The human psyche is such that change is something that we look upon with a dollop , if not more, of doubt and apprehension. And I'm not talking about a change of scene, which is something we seek , like when we go on a holiday or meet a friend. This is hard core change, when the ground beneath you feels like it is not just shifting but has been pulled off altogether. When your world changes instantly, when you start to question how you have lived so far and how you will navigate the path ahead. When everything you know is thrown to the wind, and you need to find your way back, to circumvent back to some meaning, some resolution, some grounding. When your body feels the jolts and your soul aches to make sense of the present. These are the changes that I'm talking about. Life changing ones that are uncomfortable to say the least. When you feel that you had it all figured out and bam! There's life telling you something, something else, something new , something that maybe your soul knew all along but is not ready to hear yet. Life doesn't wait. It gives you the lessons, anyway. Life loves you, anyway. Life knows what you are capable of, even if you don't realise it, anyway.

So the only road ahead is to find the courage, the courage of acceptance. When we fight what is coming at us, we create so much resistance, which leads to a struggle, and that struggle is a place where most people break down. The 'why' this has happened' takes over and instead of reflecting, the chances of feeling anger, blame and self-pity can enter. That is a loop that none of us wish for ourselves. So the most difficult part, whether it be relationships or anything in life, is acceptance. Acceptance is not passive, it is not accepting defeat, or accepting failure, or accepting a broken fate. But acceptance is empowering. It gives you the strength to hold your head high and say, 'Fine, I accept this, now what can I do for myself?'

The key to all of this change and acceptance, is mindfulness and awareness. Unless we are ready to look within, the body will continue to give signs. It will bring illness and discomfort to make you see that the life you are living is not in alignment with your inner soul. It will tell you that yes, maybe how you did things so far was fine, but it is time for a change. Your deep inner sanctum already knows this, it is time you bring that to your conscious awareness.

One of the chief reasons we resist change or are not open to change is our mindset. We have been told to look at life in a particular way by our family, school, or friends and somehow accepting a change feels like a betrayal of everything you knew so far. It feels like you may be letting your loved ones down. It may be difficult and make you almost feel like an imposter. "Is this who I am? , you ask yourself. And then you feel that by accepting the change you are letting the whole world down.

The harsh truth is this. When we don't accept the change, we let ourselves down. When our inner compass is showing a way, you choose to ignore it, choose to reject it, choose to make excuses not to follow it, for fear of being judged, for fear of failure, for fear of being told, "I told you so! '

That is when you lose your love for life, when parts of yourself start shutting down, because instead of accepting yourself for the person you are evolving into, you start to stay within, to escape judgement and failure and more.

When this happens please understand that life loves you more than you know. Life wants the best for you more than you know. The Universe is ever giving and ever changing for you, not against you. Always feeling that change is the enemy or the devil isn't going to make the changes that come your way go away. But this mindset will definitely make your life harder.

So acceptance is the soft cushion, almost the cuddle pillow that you have to take on life's changes. It allows you to stay in the present and look for ways to handle the change. It prevents you from spiralling down the labyrinth , and getting lost. 'Lost to whom? , you may ask. My dear one, lost to your own self. When we know what has come, has a lesson and is making you strong. You take it as the Universe teaching you something that is going to make you stronger or going to make you the steadfast resilient person that you truly are. We cannot be connected by the umbilical cord forever. That cord literally gets cut at birth , but people take years to figuratively get disconnected from it. And that is the problem. We are so stuck to the primordial umbilical cord that supports you when you are a baby in the womb but now that you are grown up, you have the strength in your veins to be independent on your own.

And through all of this know one thing. Your friends and family want to see your growth and evolvement. They want to see you happy and shining. Therefore if they really do care, they will show their acceptance of the changes that have come into your life, even if they don't understand it themselves. This is your journey. This is your soul telling you, it is time to shed your present skin, it is time to shed your present identity. You are meant for something else. Go be that. Go be the best version of yourself right now. So the body also changes to show you the way. Look at what it is telling you. Are you even listening?

Also through all of this there is obviously the fear of uncertainty. 'What if this is wrong, or I fail?' . Dear one, know this. We have learnt to see our true north through these uncertainties. The difficult part is to gather the valiance to see it for what it is. Uncertainty is always there. Even in the present , in the so-called cocoon that you live in. Uncertainty will always be there. So we can either make friends with it, or allow it to rule our every move. The choice is ours, always.

Rumi said, "Let yourself be silently drawn to the strange pull of what you really love, it will not lead you astray'.

There is so much in this statement. The strange pull is the unknown, the uncertainty. The change that you sense coming but you're resisting. Somehow trying to be logical and analytical or dissecting things can be detrimental to one's own growth. Because the human mind wants to break things down and question and blame and wallow. But seeing the winds of change blowing at you, can we for one moment ask this : 'Is the wind going to make me fly?'

Yes , yes and yes. You may fly and yes you may fall , but you will be you and nobody else. You will be the person who has the guts to face the change and fly with it and smile and laugh through all the tears and disappointments. And do you know what is on the other side of all this?

A new and renewed you, that is able to face life on your own terms and the terms are defined by you. Not by a book you read or a friend who counselled you or even your family. And all of them , if they truly love you, will revel in your glory. How you rose like the phoenix. How from the ashes when you feel the ground beneath you doesn't even exist, you rose to say, 'I am here, I am alive and I am happy' .

Here I must quote Rumi, who said that, 'Fear is non-acceptance of uncertainty. If one can accept uncertainty it transforms into an adventure. Fear resists growth and change, and like a shadow is to be befriended rather than escaped.'

This is beautiful because it talks about fear, non-acceptance and uncertainty and how the three are tied together. The chains that bind us exist within our own being, and the fortitude to break free from it also lies within you. Go get the life that's waiting for you.

Xoxo

The Storyteller_Mumbai